Holiday Photos

So today we went and took some photos of Isabella for the holidays. They were so cute so I wanted to share them with you all. Our scanner had some trouble so there are some lines on them. They turned out really cute.

We also went and saw Santa in the mall earlier in the week. There was no one there and she was walking through the mall and she caught his eye and he caught hers. He was waving to her and she waved back, so we walked up and decided to see if she would say hi up close. She was melting all over the floor out of shyness and embarrassment. She is so funny with new people now. She cocks her head away and sometimes just falls down to the ground because she is being so shy. After wallowing on the floor in front of him for a few minutes she decided she was brave enough to sit in his seat with him, not on his lap, mind you, but in his seat. Santa was really nice and sweet to her. We decided to take a picture and then I paid way too much money to have a copy but it was her first time meeting with Santa so it seemed worth it to me. Did I mention how much I love Christmas and I am really enjoying sharing this season with Isabella. I think she is going to really like the tree when we get it up. She already loves the Hallmark snowmen that Doug has given me over the years. I need to get that on video so I can share that with you. It is hilarious!

Nonna and Pop-pop

Isabella is changing everyday. I can see how the wheels are turning in her mind and things are starting to click. She easily picks up any baby sign I throw at her, although she still chooses not to use her words very much. And she answers most questions you ask her with "Yah!" At least it isn't "no", right? The other day we were standing looking at all the pictures on our family wall and I was pointing out everyone to her. Then later when I would ask her where Nonna and Pop-pop were she would run over to the wall and point. It was really cute.
I think she will be excited to see them in person for Thanksgiving. She definitely likes to look at pictures and videos of her family. That's all for now. I will be sure to let you know when she suddenly starts talking...I am sure it will be any day now. :)

Not much going on, but so busy...

Well there has not been much going on, but I have still felt extremely busy lately. Isabella and I have been going to the chiropractor. I have been going for my back and hip and Isabella has been getting help with her in turned foot. It has been really helping us both. Cristina just left yesterday after visiting with us for a week. Chris was out of town so she and David came to keep us company. We had a good time together. I skipped the gym while she was here and instead we took walks and I worked out in the basement on the elliptical and with our dumbbells. It wasn't bad, but I was happy to get back to the gym today and Body Pump.

This past weekend I attempted to put Isabella's hair in a ponytail. It was adorable for the few minutes that it stayed up. I think we still need her hair to get a little longer until we can do a ponytail in the back, but it won't be too long now.

One day that Cristina was here we went to the Picture People in the mall and had David's pictures taken. He looked so adorable. Here is a picture of one of our favorites.
We had a good time and we really miss having Cristina and David around. It was nice to have them here.

So Isabella has a cold and is not feeling super great. She just sounds really horse and when she cries it sounds terrible!! She has been having issues with sleep since Saturday night. I think it is developmental and not because of this cold, which really came on late Monday. Nick and I attempted to go out for dinner on Saturday and left Cristina here with Isabella and Cristina asked what to do if she woke up and we said "well, she won't" and we had barely made it out the driveway before we got the call that Isabella was screaming bloody murder in her crib. Cristina tried to put her back down but she refused to be laid in her crib no matter what. Nick and I were waiting at the restaurant for our table and I decided I would just run home and put her back down and then I would come back and join Nick. I came home to find a totally out of sorts baby. She was so exhausted and would practically fall asleep in your arms but the minute you made a move for the crib she lost it. So I took her in the car with me to go pick Nick up from the restaurant after trying for about 20 minutes to get her back down. Nick asked for our appetizer to go and then we drove through the Chick-fil-A drive-thru at 9 o'clock at night and had a delicious date night of fast food. So much for our best laid plans to have a night out together. She has been having a tough time going to sleep and leaving our sides at night and at naptime. It is frustrating, but I figure "this too shall pass." Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. :)

Halloween Weekend

We drove to Jacksonville, NC on Friday to spend Halloween with my brother Chris and sister-in-law Cristina and baby David. Also, my parents live in the same town, but my mom was out of town until Saturday night for work. We had a great time on Halloween. We went trick-or-treating to just a few houses of people we knew in town. Isabella had fun running around as a bee and would "buzz" like a bee. Of course, it was super cute to us, just like everything she does.

The main reason we came in for the weekend was for David's baptism. Nick and I are his godparents. It was such an honor to be asked and we were so happy to be able to be there for the ceremony. He looked adorable. Here are some pictures from our weekend.

A week in review

So lets start out by saying that Isabella is getting toothy...meaning she has lots of teeth!! Here is a picture of one of her 4 new molars. She got all four in the same week! It was tough on both of us.

Well this week flew by. We kept really busy with our usual stuff and added in a couple play dates and preparing for our house guests. Here are some pictures starting with last Saturday when we all went to the zoo together.


Here we were watching the gorillas. It is tough to get tired of watching them. It is amazing to watch how much we are alike, especially the mothers and children.

Then Nick took Isabella inside the petting zoo. She was fearless, she wanted to run all over the place and pet all the animals.



Early in the week Isabella and I decorated a pumpkin with these foam pieces that stick to the pumpkin. I decided painting and carving is just too much for her at this age. I had fun doing it and Isabella did enjoy trying to put them on and take them right back off. :) Here are some pictures of her and her pumpkin when we took it outside.


Then we had a fun play date with Nathan and his mom Bridget. I am very excited to have made friends with Bridget. I feel like we get along really easily, like I have known her a lot longer than I have. It is nice to have a friend who lives so close too. They are in our community.


I also bought Isabella a great toy this week...a laundry basket. I got the idea from the Kindermusik class we attended with Katie and Gianna. We took her suggestion and attached Swiffer pads to the bottom so Isabella could clean my hardwood floors instead of scratch them. She really enjoys riding in it and pushing it around and watching Little Einsteins in it.


And in the midst of our busy week and all the teething I found Isabella chewing on Rockne's rawhide stick and I promptly removed it from play by putting it on the kitchen table...or so I thought.
Apparently Rockne has skills I did not know of.

We also got a Isabella a more traditional toy...a ball. She loves it too and does a great job kicking it around the house. She is looking to follow in her cousin Grace's footsteps and be the star of the soccer team.

So that is our week in review. You are all caught up now. Our house guests are all currently sleeping as their flights were all delayed last night due to weather in Atlanta so everyone got in very late...so it looks like everyone got to bed around 3 am. I went to bed around 1 am and then got up with Isabella at 6, which was my fault. In an effort to not have her crying wake up others I went in too quickly and right when I went to touch her she found her bunkin on her own and was ready to sleep and then I touched her and that was it, it was all over. So we are watching our 4th episode of Little Einsteins (we got the new Christmas Wish DVD), trying desperately to be quiet and not wake up everyone else, but poor Tom is in our loft and doesn't have a door to close. I hear little Braden is up. I guess Heather's sleep is ruled by the baby too. I will update after our weekend is over.

At peace with the birds and bees

...well, at least the birds.


Isabella is going to be a bumblebee for Halloween. Here is a little preview of just how adorable she is going to be. We also picked up black tights and a black long sleeve shirt in case it is chilly.

On another note, I am finally at peace for the first time since all this fertility stuff started. I think in making the difficult decision to choose "life" in the larger sense over my own desire to have another life inside me I have found peace. In doing that I had to decide that it truly is God's job to create life and my role is to assist Him should he choose to create another life in our family. It is not my job to create life and find a way no matter what the cost, as would be the case if we proceeded with IVF. I decided that I truly do have faith, something I think I only talked about before this challenge faced us. I have faith that God will take care of me and my family. That may mean that we will get pregnant again and have another healthy baby or it may mean that we will adopt another child in the future. Whatever happens, I know that we will be taken care of. You all know that one of the things I am not so good about is reading the Bible, something I hope to get better at. But yesterday I spoke with someone who mentioned a book of the Bible and how it spoke to what I was talking about. I read it and this is what I found and I guess this explains my peace.

Romans 5:1-5 "Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access [by faith] to this grace in which we stand, and we boast in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we even boast of our afflictions, knowing that affliction produces endurance, and endurance, proven character, and proven character, hope, and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the holy Spirit that has been given to us."

I say Amen to that. For one of the first times in my life, I stand facing adversity and know that the world is as it should be in this moment as I stand in the grace that God has given me. Thank you all for your prayers. I know that they really helped us and continue to bring us grace.

Oh, and isn't our bee just too cute? :)

A Day at the Park and then one at the Pumpkin Patch

Yesterday we took some time to visit a nearby park. We were thinking an open field would be perfect for Isabella so she could run all over. She loved it! Here are some pictures from the day. She busted her lip on one of the playground things so you may see the swollen right side of her lip in some of these. Here she is walking around like she owns the place.
This is a classic photo of Isabella. She is just so full of life and such a blessing for Nick and I both.
She could not get enough of the slide.

Finally, before we left, she had to sample a little of what Fall had to offer. Delicious!

Today we spent the morning at a pumpkin patch about 4 miles from our house with the moms group I am a part of. We had a great time! Isabella enjoyed running around everywhere. There was a play area at the front of the pumpkin patch and Isabella had her run of that while we waited for the whole group to arrive.




Then we took a hayride (hated by Isabella) to the pumpkin patch where Isabella ran around and picked out two little pumpkins to take home with her. She was so cute and so funny.



She tried to stack one of the little pumpkins on the big pumpkin. It was really cute.
Then we walked back to the front of the patch and visited with some pigs and goats on our way. Isabella loved them all. It was a great way to start our day! You just have to treasure making memories like this. Here is a video from the pumpkin patch.

Potty training begins!

So we have started potty training. This word is loosely used because mostly what we are doing right now is just getting Isabella accustomed to the potty and sitting on it and being able to go to it when we sign it using sign language. She knows all her signs so we just have to get her to start recognizing that it is fun to go on the potty. I read some stuff about potty training and learned that in the 1960s most children were potty trained by 18 months with all children but a few potty trained by 2. With the advent of the washing machine, more parents starting pushing it back for convenience. When disposable diapers came along diaper companies did a good job of getting pediatricians to agree that parents should wait until the children are "ready." I agree with the camp that says that potty training is just about familiarizing a child with what we all do. It is much like bathing a child. They don't always like it but we start from a very young age bathing them daily. They may go through times when they hate it but parents just continue to do and try to make it fun for them, helping them to recognize that it is just a part of life. No one would think it cruel to bath a child against their wishes, but many parents do think it is cruel to potty train too early.

Anyway, we are starting, but we are going to wait to get too serious about it until I am feeling 100% better. I have had a cold and worry that I may have a sinus infection now. Well here is a picture of Isabella sitting on her potty. She is awfully cute, but she definitely doesn't like to stop what she is doing to sit still.

We aren't going to do it

We met with the genetic counselor yesterday and she was a very nice lady. That is about all I can say about her. Well not really. She wasn't very helpful. We had to push her for statistics and numbers and really felt as though we were getting no where. At one point I felt like saying, if you are trying to dumb this down for us you don't have to, but I think she was just not as informed as she should have been and she was dumbing it down for her. Speaking to her did not change my mind. I still wanted to proceed with in-vitro fertilization (IVF). Then we got home and I used my trusty old internet and I found a medical journal article (click on the link for you die hard science geeks to read for yourself--you may have to click on manual download) from the Oxford Journal of Human Reproduction. This article described our exact situation, using PGD (Preimplantation genetic diagnosis) for Robertsonian translocation with IVF. The study basically showed us two things (1) that the PGD test is not 100% accurate and they frequently find inconclusive results on some of the embryos or initially find a genetic defect and then they keep the embryo(s) once the good ones are chosen and then as "discarded" embryos they do further testing and often find that the ones that were inconclusive were balanced and healthy embryos or ones that they initially diagnosed as defective or unbalanced were actually healthy. That changed my mind. We can't proceed with IVF and risk the loss of healthy lives just so I don't have to continue to endure loss and the pain associated with miscarriage. (2) That our risk of having a trisomy 13 baby (one with a severe genetic defect) that is born is 1%. (3) That actually the fact that we have had 5 pregnancies and 4 miscarriages is statistically speaking probably due to more than just this Robertsonian translocation. Scientists say our risk would only be about 15% per pregnancy as reproduction favors the balanced chromosomes. Clearly we have had more losses than are in line with this percentage so it may still be that we have a progesterone issue (something they can't test for with any accuracy).

Here is a quote from the medical journal in the conclusion for those who are interested (if not skip to the next paragraph:

However, counseling is necessary for couples with proven fertility. (that's us since we have Isabella) A history of recurrent pregnancy loss may not be associated with the translocation, particularly in the case of 13;14 Robertsonian translocations; this link can only be established by karyotyping the products of conception, as in case B above, where two out of four miscarriages had been shown to be trisomy 14. If PGD is requested for couples where a link has not been established, it should be considered whether it is appropriate to subject a fertile woman to IVF procedures when the role of the translocation is not known. The possibility of other contributin factors...should be investigated thoroughly and the couple counseled accordingly. They go on to say: We conclude that Robertsonian translocations do not predispose to abnormal cell division in cleavage-stage embryos, although it remains possible that some couples may produce a high proportion of chromosomally abnormal embryos, possibly due to defects in cell cycle control mechanisms not associated with any chromose rearrangements.

Given all this information (really given #1 above) we have decided that the morally right thing to do is to avoid IVF altogether. As painful as it is for me to say no to IVF, the facts convinced me it isn't something I could do. So now I feel like I have experienced another loss. When I was first told by the doctor it seemed so cut and dry--that we would be finding the lethal embryos and implanting the good ones and holding on the other good ones until some later date, so I got excited and thought we would definitely do it. I imagined my two healthy embryos being implanted and most likely continuing to term and getting a double blessing to make up for all the sadness and loss we have experienced. Unfortunately I let myself imagine a family that we are now not going to get and so it is difficult to let go. We will get through this though, just like we have gotten through everything else. I still have one beautiful daughter who is full of life and makes every day just that much brighter. I guess we have already been doubly blessed...we have a daughter and she has such a beautiful light that shines from her.

We have answers...good news and bad news

So we met with the infertility doc today and he told us that Nick has a genetic mutation to his 13th and 14th chromosomes. It is called a Robertsonian Translocation. If you click on the link in the previous sentence it will give you a breakdown of what it means but it basically boils down to a 1 in 3 chance of us having a genetically healthy baby, like our little Isabella. So our options are to keep playing "russian roulette" as our doctor termed it and hoping for a good outcome or we can proceed with in-vitro fertilization and we can implant healthy embryos. The good news is that if we found some embryos to have the genetic mutation, we know the mutation is lethal and so we don't have to worry about killing genetically viable embryos. In all likelihood we would be lucky to get one or two that are genetically good so we probably wouldn't have to deal with excess embryos. Anyway, we are meeting with a genetic counselor on Thursday to get the breakdown of all the odds and such and then I think I will probably call on Friday to schedule our first IVF consult. After 4 miscarriages we are tired of playing russian roulette. So hopefully if all goes well we will be pregnant by December or January. We still have a chance this month of hitting the jackpot and getting pregnant AND having the baby get the good set of chromosomes. Say some prayers for us!

Some days you just have to veg

Today was a tough day for both me and Isabella. It all started with an earlier than usual morning when Isabella woke up at 6:30ish, this makes her crankier in general. We were off to the gym around 9 but before that I was checking Facebook and email and I happened upon a Facebook friend who had her first baby around the same time as I had Isabella. When the babies were just a couple months old we both said how much wanted a second baby as soon as we could. I saw that she had her second baby in the last week or so. It made me really sad. I felt like my heart sank in to my feet. I realize that her life has no bearing on mine and vice versa, but I guess I felt as though it gave me a window in to what my life could have been if our first pregnancy after Isabella had been successful. I have been thinking a lot about that baby recently anyway, since I would have been due at the end of this month. It just made me sad. I go to the doctor on Tuesday to see what the results of our blood work are. I just have a feeling they aren't going to find anything. They say that they find something only 50% of the time otherwise it is just unexplained. I really want them to find something. If they find something it is usually easy to correct, but Nick and I both just feel like they aren't going to find anything. We will see though.

Anyway...so I actually did go to the gym despite that revelation taking the wind out of my workout sails. Isabella did pretty good but I forgot her pacifier and she needed it towards the end so I managed to get through the whole workout, just not the stretching at the end. We came home and Isabella just seemed cranky, tired and out of sorts. I turned on Little Einsteins (her favorite and only show) and she vegged out on our bed while I got ready for the day.

A couple hours later of muddling through and it was nap time. She went down after a couple minutes of crying in her crib. After about 35-40 minutes she woke up screaming. I went in and gave her her pacifier and she laid back down for about 2 minutes before crying again. She was super drooly and snotty which was making it difficult for her to sleep comfortably. I discovered that she has another tooth coming through on the top right further back. This may be the reason for her foul mood. I tried to get her back to sleep and then let her cry for a little while before giving up on the nap and bringing her in to my bedroom to sit in bed and watch Little Einsteins again. It is the only thing that will stop her screaming when she is really upset. Then we went downstairs to play and again she just fussed and cried. I sat her on the couch and told her I would turn on Little Einsteins. She immediately stopped crying and starting doing little laughs.
So we are currently watching our 4th or 5th installment of Little Einsteins for the day. Yippee! I guess some days you just need to veg out and watch your favorite show... or these days my baby's favorite show will do.

So Thirsty!

So I just had to post this video for those of you who haven't seen it. It is so funny. This is the first time that she tried to drink from the water in the bathtub. It was taken a few weeks ago, but it still makes me laugh.

Our trip to Virginia...Gianna turns 1!

Well it has been a while since I updated everyone so we are going to do two in one day! I know...hold on to your freakin hats!

Enjoying a quiet moment together watching "Super Why?"

Isabella and I flew to Virginia on Tuesday and spent the week with Katie and Gianna. We had a great time until Friday when Isabella and I both had our turn with the stomach flu that made its rounds while we were there. Wednesday morning Gianna woke up and had thrown up in her crib and we didn't think too much of it except maybe she had a little upset stomach because she seemed otherwise normal, except for having a little less interest in food and milk. Thursday night Katie starting feeling sick and threw up and I figured at that point that it was only a matter of time before we got sick. The next morning Isabella threw up and then I started feeling sick shortly thereafter and was throwing up later that day. It was a crazy virus that wiped out the adults and the kids didn't seem too affected. Other than all that craziness, which Nick eventually got and so did Katie's dad, we had a great time.

Playing in Gianna's house

With Uncle Doug, Aunt Katie, and Gianna (post nap)

On Wednesday we went to the National Zoo and enjoyed watching the elephants get a bath and the girls especially enjoyed the small mammal house.

Isabella watching the Meerkats

Isabella and I got to go with Katie and Gianna to Kindermusik on Thursday morning and we had a great time. Isabella starts her own Kindermusik class tomorrow. We are really looking forward to that. But mostly our trip was just about spending time together and hanging out which we were able to do. Doug was on business one night so we had a girls night and watched CW girly TV and had a glass of wine and chocolate cake. It was great! We really miss them and I am always sad to have to say goodbye. Katie has become such a great friend and I love letting the girls get together. I am sure it will only be more fun as the girls get older and appreciate each other's company more. Nick joined us on Friday night (where he contracted the evil illness and later became sick on the plane flight home on Sunday).

We celebrated Gianna's birthday on Saturday at Katie's parents house. It was a great time and we were so happy to be there to see Gianna eat her first piece of cake and blow out her first candle. I can't even believe it has been a year since she was born. In some ways it feels like just the other day and in other ways it seems so long ago. I look forward to sharing many more birthdays and events in the future.

The party begins

Isabella was enjoying Gianna's baby stroller

Blowing out the candles on the cake

Look at Gianna's wide eyes...so cute!

Gianna playing with her new toy

Gianna opening presents with mommy

We also got to spend time with Nonna and Pop-pop (Nick's parents) and Aunt Jenn, which was great fun. Isabella really loves both her sets of grandparents. She is so lucky to have 4 great people. It is fun to watch her relationship develop with each grandparent differently. We had a great time and we can't wait to see everyone again when we meet in NC for Thanksgiving.

Road Trip

Two weekends ago we took a little road trip up to Chattanooga, TN for the day. We had a great time together. We weren't too ambitious and just decided to have a lovely day exploring a new city. We visited Ruby Falls, rode The Incline, and walked around the open air market.

It was an easy drive, a little under 2 hours, up to Chattanooga. When we arrived we pulled in to the parking lot at Ruby Falls and Nick realized that we had forgotten to bring a stroller or an Ergo and so we were on our own carrying Isabella during the day. Our relaxing day turned in to quite a workout.

Nick and Isabella played in the gift shop while we waited to head down the elevator which would take us underground to the caverns that led us to the underground waterfall named Ruby Falls. Isabella fell asleep about 15 minutes into our 1.5 hour walk to and from the waterfall. I carried her for the first 35 to 40 minutes and Nick took her for the rest.

Here is the last time Isabella was seen awake.


Thus began the arm workout of a lifetime for both Nick and I.
Here is the waterfall. They had lights on it that made it look really pretty.
Here we are on the way out of the cavern after a long walk to the falls, mostly due to the sleeping 25 pound toddler we carried. :)

Next we went to the Incline which is a the world's steepest passenger railway (at 72.7% grade) which takes you up and down Lookout Mountain. It was built in 1895 and is an amazing mechanical engineering feat. The car is even built at an angle to make for a more comfortable ride.
View from the top of the mountain looking down.

Then we boarded the train and went back up to the top.

It was a great day as a family. It was a beautiful day weather-wise and we had fun exploring together. We plan to head up there again and explore more that the city has to offer.

We are just so thankful that Nick is able to have his weekends to spend with us. After spending 5 years in the Navy and not be able to spend evenings and weekends together we try to remember to never take this time for granted. We know that there are plenty of families out there who don't have this time together as a family and we are grateful for it. You can see the excitement in Isabella's eyes when her daddy gets home every night and I wouldn't trade that for all the money in the world.